The How of Happiness 5—Relationships

Positive psychology guru Sonja Lyubormirky’s new book The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want reveals the University of California professor’s research-based tactics for taking control of the 40 percent of happiness and joy within our control. Here, we'll share her advice in an ongoing series:


THE HOW OF HAPPINESS
Step 5: Nuture Social Relationships


By Sonja Lyubomirsky

Romantic partners and friends make people happy, and happy people are also more likely to acquire friends and lovers. If you resolve to improve and cultivate your relationships, you will reap the gift of positive emotions. With enhanced happiness you will attract more and higher-quality relationships and embark on what psychologists call an "upward spiral."

—For every negative act or statement in your relationship, make sure you employ five positive ones. Express your love and gratitude physically and verbally. I once heard a family expert say, "A spontaneous kiss while doing the chores can do wonders."

—Friendships don't just happen, they are made. Make time for friends; communicate by listening and be supportive and loyal.

—Hug more.




The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want
By Sonja Lyubomirsky
Penguin Press HC
Hardcover
Dec. 27, 2007
ISBN-10: 159420148X
ISBN-13: 978-1594201486
available from booksellers everywhere and Amazon.com